I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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