Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
