So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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