Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
