i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
