How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
