He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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