we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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