For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?