Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.

  (917): View more from New York City

  dollar well spent

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  (802): last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears. (917): dollar well spent http://tfl.nu/wmsi
  Replies (15) Good night (3321) Bad night (760)
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  (353): View more from

  i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash

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  (353): i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash http://tfl.nu/bafg
  Replies (22) Good night (5729) Bad night (769)
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  (212): View more from New York

  I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.

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  (212): I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth. http://tfl.nu/x3q1
  Replies (13) Good night (6702) Bad night (862)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  low key just jizzed in a chinese food container

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  (321): low key just jizzed in a chinese food container http://tfl.nu/tufb
  Replies (7) Good night (766) Bad night (3779)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Your godly.

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  (403): Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation. (1-403): Your godly. http://tfl.nu/7li2
  Replies (13) Good night (4259) Bad night (1111)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.

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  (321): Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class. http://tfl.nu/1es6
  Replies (7) Good night (3962) Bad night (800)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?

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  (518): Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped? http://tfl.nu/52bj
  Replies (10) Good night (1805) Bad night (1068)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.

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  (318): I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck. http://tfl.nu/uef5
  Replies (10) Good night (833) Bad night (1844)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.

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  (763): Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1p73
  Replies (1) Good night (1532) Bad night (564)
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  (315): View more from New York

  15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...

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  (315): 15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that... http://tfl.nu/f0xw
  Replies (4) Good night (1447) Bad night (626)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.

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  (814): I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood. http://tfl.nu/fkn8
  Replies (10) Good night (1186) Bad night (519)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.

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  (813): Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it. http://tfl.nu/c8t4
  Replies (13) Good night (2266) Bad night (537)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  Thats why they were on the balcony!

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  (250): i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was (1-250): Thats why they were on the balcony! http://tfl.nu/y0xc
  Replies (0) Good night (1486) Bad night (420)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.

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  (803): He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple. http://tfl.nu/4atf
  Replies (2) Good night (1230) Bad night (323)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

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  (616): MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! http://tfl.nu/8cgu
  Replies (11) Good night (747) Bad night (889)

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