Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
