OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
