Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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