the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
