Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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