I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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