Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
