I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
