I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize