apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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