She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
