I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize