you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
