I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
