u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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