Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
