Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize