That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
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Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
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Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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