im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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