i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
