guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
