Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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