the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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