i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
