so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
