We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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