Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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