White coat. Heels.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
