imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
