What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
