Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
