Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't deserve a penis
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?