Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.