she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday