i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.