A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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