we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
