Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
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If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
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I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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