Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize