I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
