Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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