Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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