SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
