So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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