Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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