You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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