i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
