I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need water and some morals
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
