bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
