I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Ambien. No doubt about it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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