You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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