After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
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He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
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I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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