I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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