You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i believe in u and ur pee
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
