i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
