Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
In America we eat man semen.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
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It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
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Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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