this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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