I think scott just propositioned me for sex
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Randomize
