We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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